God, Help Me Understand

step one, week two, regen, regneration, god

Step One, Week Two: Admit

Step 1, ADMIT: We admit we are powerless over our addictions, brokenness and sinful patterns—that in our own power our lives are unmanageable.[1]

Foundation Verse: “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.” (Romans 7:18)

Regeneration, regen, step one, God,


Key Theme: Realize the Disease of a Sinful Nature


            First, I must start with a confession: I struggled to do the work I needed to do this week. I didn’t prioritize my time well and have my time with the Lord first thing in the morning. I often looked at my workbook then intentionally did something else. I was willful and not consistent. Please pray I am more obedient in the weeks to come.

When I dove into the work this week, it surprised me to see how far I’d come since the first time I went through this week’s work.  A good portion of the book focuses on Cain and Abel. If you aren’t familiar with Cain and Abel’s story then please go read it here:  Cain and Abel’s story

Aha Moment

This may be glaringly obvious to others, but I had a huge aha moment when reading about God’s encounters with Cain. I always saw God’s questions were in order to get Cain to admit his guilt, so he could be judged. I think it says a great deal about how I’ve viewed God for most of my life: as a disciplinarian who wants to judge us.  This week, I read it differently. I saw it as His desire to be in fellowship with Cain. I think God wanted Cain to confess his sins, so he could receive forgiveness then repentance from them. God wanted to be CLOSE to Cain, not punish him.

Wow! That’s big for me. The other day, my youngest daughter was rebellious (just the other day, Alynda? Well, no, it happens daily, but I digress). All she had to do was admit her poor choices then receive a five minute time out, but she willfully refused to admit it. She endured a much longer and more difficult discipline due to her pride. I was so frustrated with her because I KNEW it could be easier for her. All she had to do was simple in my mind then I realized. I am just like her with my heavenly Father!  I willfully hold on to my sin because of my pride.

One question this week was, “What would life be like if you had no conscience and only followed personal desires? How would this affect those around you?  I would be a sad, lonely, and isolated person who lashed out at those who loved me. They wouldn’t want to be around me and I really couldn’t blame them. It would cause a horrible cycle of hurting others then being hurt because nobody wanted to be around me.

This week also discussed the fact God created us with a purpose. We matter to God. I matter to God. YOU matter to God.

What in the world have I looked to for meaning and purpose apart from God?

YUCK! Some top “offenders” are:. My husband, my kids, material belongings, sex, food, books, money, drugs, ALL. THE. THINGS.

None of them provided long term happiness. Every human will willingly or unwillingly hurt us. If I have my faith in a thing or a person, then I will get hurt. It will happen. I need to maintain my focus fully on Christ because He is the only one who will never hurt me or let me down.


The last day of the week was a reminder that God wants to provide for my day… this day. So many scriptures talk about not focusing on tomorrow or next week or any time in the future. Focus on today and God will guide me. That’s cool, isn’t it?


To remember where I am in my journey, I wrote a footprint letter to myself. I am including it here for you, my friend.

Footprints One:

Dear Alynda,

I am in awe of how far the Lord has brought you over the past 2.5 years. You are still struggling with lust, people pleasing, self control, and self protection. Yet, you are further than you were yesterday and tomorrow will be a better day. Listen to the Holy Spirit! He will not lead you astray. Be fully devoted to what/where He calls you. Love His people well. You still struggle with anger and irritation with the girls. Ask the Lord for help. Offer quick requests for forgiveness when you curse or say hurtful words to the girls. Give it to the Lord – Dig deep to see why you are acting this way. Ask Him to expose the root so you can have more peace and be a better, more Godly example to your children.

You are cherished,


[1] From Watermark’s Re:Generation book, Realize Your Need for God’s Grace

Stepping Through the Steps: My Journey through Re:Generation

Admitting I Am Powerless



  • Lori Altebaumer July 3, 2018 at 9:07 am Reply

    We are too prideful to admit our sin and receive, not the punishment, but the reconciliation God so desires with us! Wow! I also love the idea for leaving a “Footprint.” That is awesome! Thanks Alynda.

    • AlyndaLong July 3, 2018 at 11:11 pm Reply

      Thanks so much for the encouragement, Lori! When the Lord told me to be authentic and transparent, I had no idea that would entail sharing my truest heart and struggles with the Internet! Blessings to you!

  • Norma R. Poore July 3, 2018 at 9:15 am Reply

    Thank you for being so transparent. I appreciate the reality of this post. If I am honest; if Christians are honest I/we are the same as you. Sinners, gloriously saved and are now children of God who act like children no matter our age. Thankfully, God graciously lavishes His forgiveness and love on us.

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.